currently listening: Nothing...sober
mood: frankly, terse.
Dammit, i woke up this morning and rolled
over... no one was next to me
see i am alone. i will be the next day
and the day after that.
Its not something i want but its what i have
to do. there is no such thing as honesty
and if you're not trustworthy can you
really trust anyone else?? no, i dont
think that you can and i am a bad guy
lately i just need my wine glass with a
little punch and enough weed to send me
spinning. i want arms around me too
though...i feel myself getting cold again...
the person i redundantly go back to being,
maybe this is as good as it gets?
idk but i am hurting and im searching for more than
love and a one night stand, more than
midnight rendevous and smoke sessions
more than sitting on the couch and laughing
more than any drug can give me for even 5 mins
and waaayy more than the temporary ecstacy
of sex. i need a friend first and the rest later...
but i fucked up again. i fucked up and i
need help. but can anyone help me really?
can anyone save me? from myself?.....
nooo....because i thrive off my life crumbling
and really....i dnt want to be saved at all.
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